What Does "Your People Shall Be My People" Look Like?

When Ruth said to Naomi, "Your people shall be my people," neither of them were thinking about where they would spend Thanksgiving or which traditions they would hold on to for Christmas. But those decisions have the potential to crumble mountains in some families. Decisions about the holidays may be the hardest "in-law" test for new couples and their parents. From what I have observed, the mothers-in-law that navigate holidays the best are those who had the most heartache as daughters-in-law. The difficulty they experienced seems to make them the most gracious to the new couple.

Holidays are hard. My first thanksgiving with my husband's family was a bit of a shock. Everything was completely foreign to what I knew and I wanted to cry. Every couple's prior holiday experiences are different and both assume that what they came from is the right way. They will need time to adjust and figure out what their own holidays will look like. I came to appreciate the Johnson family gatherings and the relationships that were nurtured and celebrated in what, to me, was a very different arena. For the young couple, "your people shall be my people" implies a desire to participate to some extent in extended family gatherings,  no matter how different.

Many of the traditions that are precious to us are tied to experiences shared only by the family. Late one busy Christmas Eve, we were hungry, had nothing for dinner, and the fast food places were soon closing. My husband headed to our favorite chicken place and lined up last in the drive-through line. When he pulled up to the window, they handed him some semblance of what he ordered, and to make up for what was lacking, handed him additional bags of chicken, biscuits and fries. They were ready to close. The daddy of our family came home looking proud that he had scored a big win and the kids cheered. That began our tradition of eating fried chicken every Christmas Eve.

The story itself is silly and as I look back I think about things like...there were only four of us and the kids were little, just how much extra chicken did they give us? The amount of chicken may have grown with each telling. But still, when someone says "remember that Christmas Eve when..." I am carried back to the reaction of each person, and the delight and laughter at the simple surprise. It is a fun memory for the four of us and even though the new members of our family were not there, "your people shall be my people" bids them to imagine bags of chicken, laugh with us, and eat fried chicken. 

But new memories come quickly. The first Christmas with both our son-in-law and daughter-in-law while I was trying to figure out my empty nest, the kids came home to decorate for Christmas. Our son and son-in-law, cut from the same cloth, played off of each other in a way that was entertaining to all of us. Our daughter and daughter-in-law joined them and enhanced the play. It was nothing like all the years prior. The Christmas music that used to play in the background was replaced by the guys finishing quotes for each other from sitcoms and Christmas movies. What once entailed remembering each Hallmark ornament and telling stories as we opened them, was now "Hey! Let's decorate the tree with the Christmas stuffed animals!" The memory still makes me laugh. Decorating for Christmas has never been the same. But my family is not the same. Every memory added to memory underpins who we are. 

Once again, it's the relationship.  

And when they start their own traditions that embody so much of what they learned as you watched them grow in their faith, you get to see, because you are their people. 

"Your people shall be my people." What a blessing!