Marilyn's Mussings

The powerful influence of a mother in a woman’s life cannot be overstated. She longs for your affirmation and will receive it partly in how you exhibit trust in her by respecting the choices she makes as a mother. It is important to remember that God has entrusted your grandchild to his parents. They are a team, responsible to each other and to God. When they make decisions that differ from their family of origin, no judgment or criticism should be implied. Just as we stood on the sidelines cheering them on as they worked together with sports or academic teams, encouragement and support from us is most effective. They are directly involved in the "game" and God Himself is their "coach." While we resist the temptation to correct or criticize the parenting style, if the child’s well-being is in danger she should be told. She wants that. One mother said "Tell me if I am making a horrible mistake!" However, most of what we want to share is preference an...

Unlike the workforce, being a mother has no purposeful time-line for evaluation and the little ones who say thank you, do so at her direction. If you are a woman of influence in a young mother's life, tell her how proud you are of her as a mother. Acknowledge how hard she works. Tell her often and be specific. Empty flattery is worthless but a casual observation of this young woman's day yields plenty to highlight. Find out what mode of communication the young mother in your life enjoys. A note in the mail or words on her facebook wall might be just the pick-me-up she needs. An encouraging text message straight from the scripture is always good.  I was busy at home one day enjoying a sweet memory of my last visit with my daughter and grandson. He was less than a year old, but as she corrected him she talked to him about making good choices. My heart swelled as I thought about what a good mother she was. Then I suddenly realized that more than enjoying that warm fuzzy feeling,...

One of the times a woman most needs a mother is when she becomes a mother. Many women erroneously think the need is primarily for the mother's experience. While that experience is important, what is more needful is found in Webster's definition of mother, "maternal tenderness or affection." The care the young mother provides for her child is a joy, but also a serious task and it times feels quite overwhelming. Most mothers alternate between feeling competent and knowledgeable one day and completely inadequate the next. She needs to know that a mother is there for her as she rides this emotional roller-coaster of tremendous responsibility. One young mother expressed it this way: "Don't forget that I am your child just because the baby came along!" It is my joy to be in “mother-to-a-mother” relationships with both the daughter I raised and the daughter my son married. This season of life has drawn us closer together than anything else and I ...

“Dum dity, dum dity, dum dum dum” I said to Jonathan as we played in the floor. With bright eyes and determination, he scampered down the hall to find the familiar yellow book filled with monkeys. I looked across the room at the baby’s young mother. Not so many years ago I read the same book to her.  I was consciously aware that in some sense, I had passed a baton to her. I was no longer a primary player in this mother-child relationship, and she was doing the job that I had done for years. The responsibility for Jonathan was hers. The comfortable role of mother that I loved dearly was also hers. As Jonathan crawled into my lap with the book, I closed my eyes and tried to breath in the privilege of the moment. My busy one-year-old grandson snuggled close and waited with anticipation. Eager to join him in his wonder, I opened the Dr. Seuss classic. One short year ago, Jonathan came home from the hospital with parents as new as his car seat and crib. I was there to offer my expert...