Affirm Your Grandchild's Mother With Words

Unlike the workforce, being a mother has no purposeful time-line for evaluation and the little ones who say thank you, do so at her direction. If you are a woman of influence in a young mother's life, tell her how proud you are of her as a mother. Acknowledge how hard she works. Tell her often and be specific. Empty flattery is worthless but a casual observation of this young woman's day yields plenty to highlight.

Find out what mode of communication the young mother in your life enjoys. A note in the mail or words on her facebook wall might be just the pick-me-up she needs. An encouraging text message straight from the scripture is always good. 

I was busy at home one day enjoying a sweet memory of my last visit with my daughter and grandson. He was less than a year old, but as she corrected him she talked to him about making good choices. My heart swelled as I thought about what a good mother she was. Then I suddenly realized that more than enjoying that warm fuzzy feeling, I needed to tell her how impressed I was with how she corrected him. I sent her what she would refer to later as a "random" text message that affirmed her as a mother.

I can remember being in the throws of motherhood and wishing there was some report card I would get to tell me if I was doing an okay job with my kids. As mothers of mothers, we can be that report card! Hallmark sold a Mother's Day card this year that said "Behind every great kid is a mother who thinks she is screwing him up." I sent one to both my girls. We laughed and they took comfort in knowing they are not the only ones who realize the magnitude of every decision they make for their child.

Maybe you think your comments don't mean that much to her. Maybe you think she already knows how you feel so she doesn't need to hear it. I asked some young mothers what they need from their mother/mother-in-law. Here are a few of their responses:

"Tell me how proud you are of the mother I have become."

"Say 'you are a great mom.'"

"Validate how truly hard motherhood is."

"Recognize my strengths as a mother, wife, or other areas and take time to share them with me."

"I need her to affirm me as a mother, wife and woman. Her approval is so important to me. I want to please her."

She needs to hear from you!